Desire happiness?
Try thinking of three good things that happened to you that day or just three good things in your life in general.
This is the latest clinical advice to achieve authentic happiness, as researched by Dr. Martin Segilman.
Positive psychology, as pioneered by Dr. Martin Segilman, focuses on positive energy, strength based character, and healthy institutions rather than on the idea that depressed people are ill and held captive by their chemistry.
I have generally been of the mind that there are two kinds of people, those who, when bad tings happen to them, are able to consider all the good things in their lives and meditate on the notion that things could have been a lot worse. Other people, when bad things happen, are stranded in sadness and can barely remember any good things--the thought of goodness itself is painful.
If you are someone who tends to have a hard time counting your blessings or persevering though hardship, the good news is that it may be possible to retrain your brain. Of course, as
Dr. Lyunbomirsky said in an associated press article, "Any long-term effect will probably depend on people continuing to work at it."
According to another positive psychologist, Dr. Diener, "happiness...is really about working and striving."
"Happiness is the process, not the place," he said via e-mail. "So many of us think that when we get everything just right, and obtain certain goals and circumstances, everything will be in place and we will be happy. . . . But once we get everything in place, we still need new goals and activities."
2 comments:
I stumbled across this site this morning. What a gem!
I'd like to add a comment about joy.
In modern western culture we tend to commend people do not allow themselves to be happy why they strive to achieve their goals. We are taught that we can only be joyful when we reach these goals.
We tend to be suspicious of words like "joy". Some derivatives of the word, "gay" and "ecstasy" for example, even have sordid meanings in our culture.
Many in our society feel that joy can only be achieved through one vice or another. It is something to be practiced furtively and in the privacy of your own home.
Getting back to the achievement of goals as being a "legitimate" reason to be joyful ....
The irony is that the goals we so often picture - the ones that will mean we can be "joyful" or "happy" - involve us in a whole new (and even more arduous) set of struggles. The whole scenario repeats itself.
"you can be happy when you pass your exam." "You can be happy when you get accepted into University." "You can be happy when you pass your exam." "You can be happy when you get a worthwhile job."
In other words - we are never really allowed to experience anything more than fleeting joy. Then we are expected to buckle down and get back in in grim-and-determined mode.
I am not saying that we should not achieve any goals. Far from it.
If we assume life is a journey, then I am saying that these goals are nothing more than the landmarks on our journey. They can actually keep things fun and interesting if we let them.
If we were to look back at any of the major landmarks we have passed to date we would notice something. They were only reached by passing a whole bunch of mini-landmarks (mini goals) on the way. These also deserve our appreciation.
In some ways, the final destination is the same for everybody. We cannot do much about that. We do have control over how we get there. We also have control over how we conduct ourselves on the way.
We can disregard the view that joy is a reward that will be bestowed upon us only when we achieve our goals.
We can be joyful any time we want to. We have been given the gift of life after all. We have been given free will to live it how we choose. We have been given five senses with which to enjoy all of the offerings that have been put on this planet for us.
Thank you.
I'm browsing around to see if anyone else has done Three Good Things and see that you've mentioned Seligman. Check out my blog inspired in part by this study. It's a fun observation exercise. Link up if you or anyone you know has blogged this concept. Cheers, -Julia - http://3for365.blogspot.com
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